Sorry....

Sorry that you have had to endure a "no blog" week again! Here's a brief update...

My ears have still not "popped"! You know that annoying feeling that you get when you go swimming and you just can't get the water out? Well, that's kind of what this feels like. I went to the ENT on Tuesday and he said they were improving. (They are??) I asked him if I would be able to fly on Thursday. I had an Alumni Board mtg. at Trinity, plus a fun weekend planned in Chicago with Elise, my sister, Nancy, and some college friends. The answer was "NO!"

This is the second big disappointment these ears of mine have caused me. It's been a L-O-N-G week journaling about what it means to "trust" in God's plans.

The good side of this is that I was able to exchange my ticket for another trip to Chicago. Only this time Bill and David get to travel with me!!! I sure hope my ears are fully recovered by then! Elise has always wanted her Daddy to see her at Trinity, so now she can! This trip co-insides with a speaking engagement I have in Chicago...a talk about Katrina.

On a lighter note, Facebook friends have been changing their profile pictures with celebrities that they look like. I think this is pretty close to me...this is Joanne Worley from Laugh-In...what do you think? Do you see the similarity?

A LAUGH TO START OUR WEEK OFF WITH A SMILE!

Got an email from Amsterdam this morning. In the email my friend sent this video. Well, it was just what I (and my poor, pitiful ears!) needed! It always feels so good to laugh, doesn't it? So here's the video and I hope you take time to view more of hers on you tube...the naked bungee jumping story is cute too!

Ear Update

My ears. My poor, pitiful ears. They are still "congested". They don't seem to be getting any better. In fact, I had to cancel a class on Wednesday so I could return home and take some pain medicine. A friend told one of her friends about my ear story. Apparently she brought her son to a chiropractor and was able to avoid having plugs put in her son's ears. So, I thought I would give the same doctor a try.

I made the appointment and went in that same day. He thoroughly informed me about chiropractic care and throughout the whole lecture this little voice inside my head was screaming, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF SUBLAXATION!!!!! FIX MY EARS!!!!" But this Dr. was having done of that. No sir-reee. He told me that I needed a scan and an x-ray and to come back in the morning.

My ears and I were not happy about having to go to the doctor at 7:00 in the morning to make an 8:00 appointment. But we went anyway, hoping that with one quick snap my ears would miraculously open and I would return to "normal" (and I do use that word loosely!).

Well, I got another lecture. Apparently he has never seen a neck as bad as mine! He said he was surprised I'm not having more problems than just my ears. I'm sitting there, pretending to be listening, but once again that little voice inside my head was shouting, "THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SETUP!" I DIDN'T JUST ROLL OFF THE TURNIP TRUCK, BUSTER!! LET'S GET TO THE EARS!!!"

After going to two different stations to "warm up" my spine and neck, I finally got to lay on the table. He popped my back once, each side of my neck, and then he pulled each earlobe so hard that all I could think of was what my life would now be like living with ear lobes that were forever going to hang down to my shoulders!

Nothing miraculous happened. I waited all day. Nothing. I woke up with eager anticipation. Nothing. If anything, they seem a little worse today. I called the ENT, but he was out of the office and won't be back until Monday. Maybe Monday will be my day for a miracle....

Prepositionally Speaking....

This past week in school, I assigned Psalm 105:4 for memory work. As we were writing out the verse, the little preposition “to” caught my eye and made me think. The verse tells believers to “ Look to the Lord…”. See that little word “to”? We hardly ever use that preposition when we speak about looking. We use the preposition “at” as “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

It led me to spin a question around in my thoughts this week. What difference does it make if I "look at" God or if I "look to" God? My thoughts are in the infant stage, but I do think there is a world of difference between those two little words.

"Looking at" seems rather distant, almost cold. "Looking to", however, seems to denote a trust. I can "look at" a myriad of things and people, but I am much more selective when it comes to those whom I "look to". Those whom I "look to" are people that I have an established relationship with, people that I can count on, people that I know love me and would not do me harm.

Read these verses:

· 1 Chronicles 16:11
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

· Psalm 34:5
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

· Psalm 123:2
As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he shows us his mercy.

Now, go back and substitute to with at. Does the meaning of the verse change?

What are your thoughts on this?

For me, I know there are times when I look at God. I know He doesn’t like that very much. In fact, it must grieve His heart. It signals that I’m off doing my own thing. But when I look to God, I’m in a special place. A place where all my focus is on Him. A place where He is my only hope. And that’s the place, I believe, where He wants me to be always be….looking to Him for all that I need.

CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?????

Thank you for your helpful comments about my "blog problem". I think it might have returned to normal. Please help me out by telling me if you once again are able to see the full page, or if the "sidebar" has slipped to the bottom of the page. Thanks for your help! I hope to be up and running again very soon!

...and they HEAR the Shepherd's voice...

The gift of hearing...I've been thinking about those words lately. All of our senses are wonderful gifts. I don't know about you, but I now realize how ungrateful I have been for good health, good senses, good hearing - I just took for granted that everyday I would wake up and feel relatively healthy. Being a little sick, however, has refocused my thinking.

I won't go into some long, drawn-out diatribe here and bore everyone, but just let me say that living without really hearing everything going on around me has been a little scary! Like yesterday. I was quietly folding towels in the bedroom, and when I turned to reach for another towel, there was Bill! I screamed!!! I had no idea he had come home. Normally I would have heard the garage door open, or I would have heard him say, "I'm home!", but right now I hear very little.

It was brought to tears as I tried to put myself into someone elses shoes, because I realize now how indifferent I was to their plight. I had no idea how hard it is to not hear. We have friends that have a deaf child, I have had relatives that have lost their hearing with age, I know of a student who gradually lost her hearing for no known reason, and this past summer I heard an excellent speaker who is totally deaf. She speaks so eloquently, yet she can not hear her own voice. Harder still, she can not hear the voices of her children.

God never under-rates hearing, however. His Word is full of references to the importance of hearing. Right now, I can't hear very well. I trust it will only be for a little bit. And my little sickness pales in comparison to the significant challenges others face on a daily basis. I may not be able to hear, but I can listen. And through listening, I'm hearing God more clearly than I have a long time.

Mark 4:23 (New International Version)
If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.

And a little FYI: I called the doctor today. He wants me to wait and see if I make anymore progress. If nothing clears up by Thursday, he will re-evaluate the "puncture the eardrum to try to relieve some pressure" procedure. Meanwhile, I'm going to try to teach tomorrow. Yeah!

The Snuggie

The Snuggie. Who hasn't heard of it? This blanket with sleeves has caused an overnight sensation in our country. And I must confess, at 2:30 a.m. on the mornings I can't sleep, that Snuggie commercial has tried to lured me in on more than one occasion!

Yesterday I needed a Snuggie...at least, that's what I thought I needed. I woke up nice and early, hoping against hope that I would finally be feeling better and could go with my husband and son to pick up our daughter in Mobile. I wanted that trip. I longed for that trip. But, alas, it was not meant to be. If anything, I woke up feeling even worse. Ears still congested, but now with a touch of dizziness and upset stomach. I pulled the covers over my head and cried. Oh, well. I said my good-byes to the men in my life and returned to my new BFF - the recliner.

But all day, I drifted in and out of it, feeling worse by the hour. By suppertime I was beside myself. Not only was I sick, I started to unravel emotionally as well. I can't explain it, but for awhile there I really lost it. And what did I do first? I wrapped myself up in a comforter and curled back into the recliner.

Today I'm feeling better emotionally - not so much physically. And it has given me time to think about comforters, and Snuggies, and things that we use to try to get us to that "snuggly" place.
Today, I still have the comforter around me, but I have THE Comforter, as well. Yes, I know He was with me yesterday too, but yesterday I took my eyes off of Him and He let me just wallow around for a while. But today, I just went to climb in His lap and let Him love on me for a while.

He brought back scripture to me about the many ways He wants to comfort me. In fact, I even did a word search on the ways the word "comfort" is used in throughout the Bible...I feel another topic for women's retreat coming on!

Corrie Ten Boom used to say, "Don't wrestle! Just nestle!" So that's what I'm doing today...nestling in the arms of my Saviour. And you know what? It's soooo much better than any blanket with sleeves!

"May your unfailing love be my comfort..." Psalm 119

Picture Experiment

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Pictures!

I will be gone for a few days. We are making a quick trip to the Gulf Coast to see our son and to retrieve our daughter. So in my absence, I will post a few pictures for your viewing enjoyment.

I no longer teach in a traditional classroom. Since moving to Houston, I have become an independent contractor. I work for different families and have many different students. They range from Kindergarten ESL to a Chemical Engineer and pretty much everything in between.It keeps me on my toes and I find it to be oh-so-very-rewarding!

Every morning I begin my day by teaching two home schooled students, Christopher and Oksana. We have so much fun together! Just before our Christmas break, we took a field trip to the Houston Children's Museum. They had a wonderful display from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. It was magical! We entered the exhibit by groping our way through the wardrobe - fur coats and all! And as we entered Narnia, it was SNOWING!!!

Oksana, ready to fight against the evil forces!

Aslan greeting us at the entrance to the exhibit.



Waiting with eager anticipation to walk into the wardrobe!

Getting ready to begin our journey!

Art class???

Teacher with her two favorite students!

Christopher concentrating on his Gingerbread House.

Oksana working on her spelling.

Oh, the wonder of geometry!

Ears and Games

What I heard at the doctor today!

Three quick updates:

1. Many of you have been sending emails, calls, and texts of concern about my poor ears. Thank you! Today I went to a fantastic ENT. Why fantastic? Well, it began with his office staff. After seeing my internist on Tuesday, she gave me a list of ENT doctors to call. I began with the first one on the list. When I told her I was "self-pay", she told me office visits began at $250.00. I told her "Thank you" and went to doctor #2 on the list. A whole different scenario. She said she had an opening for Friday, but that I might want to wait and see if the steroids made any difference. She wanted me to hold off just a few days, because she didn't want me to spend money unnecessarily. She also told me she would work me in if I needed an appointment and NOT to worry about the cost. What a breath of fresh air!!!

So, today I went to see Dr. Klinker (what a cute name)! He told me, "Yup! You've got it bad!" He then proceeded to tell me that he could slit the eardrum (OUCH!!!) and release the pressure.

But, he also said that there is so much swelling that I risk the fluid returning and having even more pain. After thinking about it for one nano second, I said that I will just try to let this run its course. He said that everything should clear up on its own within six weeks! SIX WEEKS??? But he reassured me that it wouldn't take that long for me, given the fact that I already have one week of pain behind me. Thanks, Dr. Klinker!!!

2. I wrote to the author I told you about yesterday. I shared with him that while I disagreed with his conclusions,I liked the honest wrestling he is doing with some of life's most difficult questions. He responded by telling me that his article was just chosen to be in Psychology Today.

3. And this is soooo God's timing...I received an article on FB today from World Magazine. It clearly explains the difference between a believer and an unbeliever's approach to the hard questions of life. It's a GREAT article and worth your attention and time.http://online.worldmag.com/2010/01/08/heads-i-win-tails-you-lose/

Open My Eyes, Lord. I Want To See Jesus.

This is a great book. (BTW, I let somebody out there read it. If you know where it is, can you return it, please? Or, I can always but another one...)

The author relates his journey living with Asperger's. So many, many of the stories are ones my family can relate to as we have walked the same journey with our son, David.

I am "friends" with the author on Face Book. This man is well spoken and has great insight. Today it gave me pause to read his comments that he posted after listening to a speaker from Rwanda. It raised many theological questions for him. Here is his blog if you would like to read about his thoughts on prayer and forgiveness and wrestling with God. I't really quite interesting!http://jerobison.blogspot.com/2010/01/power-of-prayer.html

Bottom line is that he questions the acceptance of a God that saves/helps some and seemingly leaves others out to dry. I like to listen to this wrestling. I like it because it sharpens my ability to answer people that have those same thoughts. It's so easy, as believers, to have our own set of values, to know what we believe based on what God has revealed to us in Scripture, but what do we do when we run into people that question the existence of God?

As I contemplated my response, I took a break to have devotions... and I just had to shake my head and laugh. I LOVE God and the way He surprises me, and the way He speaks my language! This is what the devotion said:

Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered....keep Your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.

So, just out of curiosity, how would be your response to John and also to this woman who used this quote to comment on John's concerns about a loving God?

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." -Marcus Aurelius

Doesn't it greive your heart to know how lost some people are...and we are called to be the Light in this very, very, dark world.

Which leads me to my next thought...a "Proud Grandma" moment! Our oldest Grandson is a freshman in high school. It was great to spend some time with him and his family at my Mom's BIG BIRTHDAY BASH.

Recently, Brandon gave a speech for an assignment in Honors English. His topic? Abortion. Going into the project, his teacher made it very clear where she stood on this issue. Brandon's grade? D- His mom's response? "Brandon, that is the best D- you've ever brought home!" His aunt's response? "Chin up, Brandon. God was the only audience member whose opinion truly matters, and He was evaluating you and your teacher, so resist the temptation to be bitter or get a bad attitude. We are called to return good for evil. So just keep being the best student you can be, and leave her(him?) to God."

I'm certain his great-Grandma is telling him how proud she is of him!

Great-Grandma and Brandon

So proud of you, Boo! Have a great second semester, and keep letting your light SHINE!!!!

Divine Nudgings

Me, Writing My First Book...Vermeer Captured My Essence, Don't You Think?

(The Hair...Maybe Not So Much!!)

Nothing new to report about my ears. I really hope I wake up and find that my hearing has returned, the pain and pressure are gone, and that I can return to the land of the living!

Meanwhile, this unexpected time of calm and quiet as had its times of joy as well. I have been able to spend much more time, quiet time, in His presence. It has been soul satisfying.

The year my father died, my Mom bought each of us (for herself and her three daughters) a devotional book. That way, no matter where in the world we are, we know that we are united in what we have read from God's Word that day, and have shared the same devotional thought. This year, after we went out for my birthday lunch, she presented each of us with our new book. This one is such a delight. The author is Sarah Young and the book is entitled, Jesus Calling.

Yesterday's devotion was so timely for me. For many years, people have heard me speak or give my testimony and they have said, "Wow! You should write a book!" I think I've written before

how my oldest sister has always encouraged me in that direction. Even our minister's wife used to tell me that after all we've been through as a family, I should write a book that could be a real source of encouragement to others. And then there is my faithful blog buddy, whom I've never even met face-to-face, who sent me information about getting started with writing...thanks for believing in me, Henry!

The "biggie" came yesterday. I received an email from a new friend I met this past summer at a speaker's/writer's convention. She was my partner, my speaking buddy, in our evaluation group. She, too, was a former teacher, plus we both have the name Joyce. At the conference we were known as "Joyce and Re-Joyce". Anyhoo, she sent me an email telling me that her book was just published. I went to Amazon, and sure enough, there it was! So happy for her!!!

I've said all that in order to quote from my new devotional. For me, it was a Divine nudge. I think God may be preparing me to write. This is only in the infant stage of the whole process, but I, like little Samuel, want to say, "Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening!" And this is what God said to my listening heart yesterday in the devotion:

True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. (GULP!) However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nurtured by increased reliance on Me...

This gives me a refreshing perspective on the writing process. God plants the desire, and I am called to faithfully follow and to LEAN!

Trees and Ears and Doctors

They have a saying in the South that I don't think I ever heard in Michigan. When a person feels really sick, he/she says "I'm feeling really puny (pew-knee)!" Well, today I'm feeling really puny. I called my own doctor today and she is back in town. I was able to see her at 4:30 and Bill worked through his lunch hour - bless his heart! - to be able to come home and take me to the doctor.

We pulled into the parking lot of the medical clinic, and there, in front of us was a tree the looked rather, well, puny! No leaves at all, just kinda' shakin' in the lot 'cause it's rather cold here in Houston.

I said to Bill, "That tree looks how I feel!" He smiled at me and said, "Just wait until Spring!"

Ah, my man! Says so few words, but when he does, they're zingers!

UM, correct me if I'm wrong, but when your doctor looks into your ears and says, "Ewww! Ouch!" does that mean she relates to my ear pain? She added steroids to my list of pills and sent me on my way. I really pray that God uses this medicine to take down the swelling enough to let my ears drain properly. I'll let you know the outcome tomorrow...

Trees

Ear Update: They haven't popped yet!


Trees. They have always held a quiet fascination for me. Many of them stand as a silent, yet majestic testimony to the Creator. Nowhere on earth have I felt this more than when we lived in Mississippi. It was there that I began my love affair with the gentle giant of trees, the Live Oak. They are majestic with a capital M. One can't help but be captivated by their presence and begin to ponder. They seem so big and so grand, and I've often found myself wondering what all they had been a witness to during their long lives on earth. Many of the Live Oaks that I gazed at were probably also admired by Native Americans as well as Civil War soldiers.

Trees after Katrina often reminded me of gnarled, arthritic hands, reaching to heaven for help.

Highway 90 - lined with the great Live Oaks.


Post Katrina



Many of the trees have been destroyed because of the deluge of salt water.

Death and destruction - the gifts of Katrina

I hadn't thought much about my beloved trees since moving here to Houston. Until, that is, I took my students on a field trip. And there, in front of a grand old homestead stood a mighty Live Oak. My camera could not capture its grandeur, but here it is:

Symbolically speaking, it is my heart's desire and goal to be like the mighty oak. I think it's beautiful the way the prophet Isaiah describes and captures what I'm having great difficulty trying to express. Isaiah chapter 61 has often brought such comfort to my heart; the prophet assures those that have been crushed by the blows of life. They may have grieved and mourned and despaired, and yet there is a future; there is a hope! And what will these people be called?

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of His splendor

I can't help it...those words just thrill my heart. Or as my Southern friends would say, "Bless my heart! I just got chill bumps!"

Ear Aches, New Years and Trees, Oh My!

Happy New Year to all of you , my dear and loving blog family! The best is yet to be! May we all enjoy the new adventures this year has for us...

So far, this new year has given me some adventures I'm not enjoying too much! I came down with a bad head cold on Tuesday night while I was still up in the Winter Wonderland of Michigan. On Wednesday, Elise and I flew home. She went to Mobile and I returned to Houston. It was the most anguished flight I have ever taken...not because of pilot error or poor weather conditions...it was because of my head, which felt like it was about to explode at any moment.

I really thought my ears would "pop" soon and give me some sweet relief, but that NEVER happened! On Thursday Bill took me to a clinic, because my doctor was out of town. They loaded me up with meds and I spent all Thursday and Friday in a recliner, waiting for the horrible ear congestion to go away. NOTHING. ZIP. NADA!

I only slept two hours, tried to entertain myself quietly (which, at this point means no TV because even at the highest volume level, I hear very little).

By 9:30 this morning the pain is too much. I feel like I have a baby in each ear canal that needs to get out SOON!!! Poor Bill drives me to another clinic, where we find out the wait will be at least two hours. TWO HOURS!!???? Can't they see I'm ready to deliver at any second???? What's wrong with these people???

We then travel to the emergency room, which is remarkably (and thankfully!) quiet. They escort me to a room, Draw blood, give me morphine (YES!!), do chest x-rays, a CAT scan, and tell me I am one sick puppy. The ears are horribly infected but the infection has not entered to some bone (?), so that's a good thing, they tell me. I'm given MORE drugs, and sent home.

We get home around 3:30, and I spent the rest of the day in the recliner, in pain, just trying to remain calm and stoic. But ask Bill...I've failed in both areas.

I now have new found respect for Helen Keller, and, frankly, anyone who is deaf. Being deaf is no fun. Not hearing plus having these two huge 15 pound babies stuck in my ear canals is even worse.

I was going to write about trees, but I'm in too much discomfort. Maybe tomorrow...