I always heard people say, "Today we put our dog down". I heard the words, but never realized the heart break and sorrow that is embedded in that six word phrase. Today I know. Today we had to put to rest our beloved little dog, Gracie. I never realized how hard it would be...
She came into our lives in 1997. A patient at the clinic where I was working told us about a dog his wife found in Mobile, Alabama. The dog was wandering around in traffic. She rescued the dog by placing her in the car and taking her to their home in Mississippi. They ran an ad in the Mobile Register for a week, but no one ever claimed the dog. When John asked the staff at the clinic if any of us wanted a dog, I said, "Yes!"
John brought her to the clinic a few days later. It wasn't love at first sight. The dog was a big ball of shaggy black hair, and she was badly in need of a bath and some grooming. Before leaving the office that day, I made a grooming appointment and dropped the dog off on my way home. When Elise (8) and David (12) returned home from school, I told them about the dog. I warned them not to get their hopes up too much. I warned them that she looked, well...she looked pretty "mangy".
Elise and I picked her up from the groomers. I was amazed at the transformation! It's like she sculpted a cute little dog from that straggly mass of fur that I had dropped of just a few hours earlier! Elise's eyes lit up. It was love at first sight for her. Elise promptly named the dog "Bingo". Okay, that's cute. Bingo it is!
Bingo was perfect from the get go...she was out of her puppy stage, she had already been spayed, and she didn't whimper or cry or have an accident the first night in her new home. The next morning we leashed Bingo and found that she walked very well with us. Maybe she was a keeper afterall!
That first day I had some errands to run and Elise asked if Bingo could come along with us. Hmmm...I relented and off we went. The first place I had to go was the Biloxi ball park. Elise was so proud to show off her new dog. The next stop was the church garage sale. More "oohs" and "aahs". On the way home I kept looking at the dog in the rear view mirror. I wondered where she had come from. She's such a loving dog...why was she walking around in the traffic? And now here she was with us - a whole new home, a whole new state. Once lost, but now found! Amazing! "Elise? How 'bout we name the dog Gracie? She just seems like a "Gracie"." Elise thought for a moment and then said, "Yes. And her middle name will be Marie. Just like mine. Gracie Marie."
And that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Gracie was a wonderful member to our family. She never barked, she never growled or nipped at anyone...she just seemed to be the perfect dog. Often over our thirteen year relationship I marveled at how well her name suited her...she exuded grace. Somehow, it always came across like she was thankful...sort of like she knew she had been rescued and she just wanted to live her whole life to please us, simply because she was so happy to have a home.
She did have one bad habit. She was an escape artist. If the door was open and she could get out, out she went! Man, could Gracie run! She seemed as swift as the air! Soon it made sense to me why she was lost. She probably darted out of her home in Mobile and simply couldn't figure how to get back. Thankfully, when she would escape out our front door, she somehow always made her way back home to us.
I'll never forget the day she bolted out the door on a Saturday morning. She took her sweet time to return and I was getting worried. Suddenly, there she was, running home. Running so fast that her little ears were blown back. She was carrying some huge object in her mouth. And she looked so proud as she ran towards the front door. But the closer she came, I was able to make out what she was clutching in her mouth...an animal leg!!! The leg of a deer. Ewww, Gracie!!! Apparently one of the neighbors had gone deer hunting and Gracie thought this was the perfect gift to share with us. We returned the leg to the rightful owner...
So many memories. Her snaggle tooth. Or how she would hear the school bus and race to the green chair so that she could see out the window, making sure Elise and David made it home from school safely. The way how she loved to play with David's old socks. Or how she grieved when our family cat died.
Gracie was a part of the family. She evacuated with us for Katrina. She spent many months in her cage when we lived in our friends tiny accommodations above their garage. And she made the long trip from Mississippi to Houston.
This past year, it was obvious that Gracie was getting older. Her eyes were clouded over and gradually it became apparent that she had also lost her hearing. Blind and deaf, but still wanting to be a part of everything.
Then things slowed down. She never ran out the door. She no longer could jump onto our bed. She started bumping into things. Her once black hair was now more gray than black. And then, slowly, she withdrew from us. She no longer wanted to sit in our laps. She didn't really care much to be petted. She spent most of her hours just sleeping.
We often discussed when would be the time to just let Gracie rest...none of us wanted to think about life without her. But Gracie seemed to let us know. Life had become hard for her. She had bladder cancer. She became incontinent. It was time.
On Friday morning we took Gracie to the vet. They gave her a sedative and let us spend as much time as we needed to say our goodbyes. We each took turns holding her. It felt so good to nuzzle with her again - it had been a long time since she had wanted to be held. She laid in our arms as we tearfully told her what great joy she had brought to each of us. And then it was time...
Gracie, you were, as Bill often said, "the best dog we ever had!". You shared with each of us such unconditional love. We miss you, Gracie. We miss you so much...
