Friday, April 9, 2010

Asperger's is Difficult


This post is to add just a little awareness to my world, The world of Autism. And more specifically, for me, the world of Asperger's Syndrome. It's not easy. Everyday brings some sort of struggle. I am my son's voice. Yes, my son is now an adult, but this world is a frustrating place for him. He is that proverbial square that is always trying to fit into the round peg. And it hurts. It hurts my heart to see him struggle. To see people avoid him. To witness people that make fun of him behind his back. To see him ignored, as if his life doesn't matter.

Last week I heard about a documentary that was made about Autism in China. This is the trailer for that movie and I think it gives a little picture in the wonderful highs and devastating lows of living in the world of the autistic.


Autism CHILDREN OF THE STARS Documentary (Trailer) - Celebrity bloopers here

And here is a poem written by a mother that knows this world all too well.

Parking Lots Can Be Prolific

I am in the parking lot

digging for keys

coming

d

o

w

n

from

a pediatric dental visit




I am fumbling in my purse

among folded stacks of pre-op paperwork

forms I need to fill out

for the son that

refuses to open his mouth

and

requires a hospital stay

(they better give him an extra turn at the treasure chest for that)




She pulls her black suv into the parking spot next to mine

another suburban mom

another appointment

and

I hear her waking her sleeping beauty

small arms stirring in the carseat

a flash of brunette curls through the open passenger door




I stuff my boys into the back of the Volvo

absorbed in Deductibles

20% co-pays,

the potential risks of General Anesthesia




Deafeated

because

Why. Does. Everything. Have. To. Be. So. Hard?!




I turn to find

a tiny fairy princess

awakened

drenched in pink

her mama bending over her

making sure the straps aren't too tight

on her custom built

wheelchair




My self-pity

p u d d l e s

at my feet




I do not compare our pain

because

it doesn't make sense

to silently compete




we are both mothers, after all




I just quietly realize

that this world is filled with women

like me

loving their babies

fearful of the future

really freakin tired at the end of the day




I bet

if we went out for coffee

we could finish each other's sentences

the facts slightly fluctuating

but the bottom line,

our desire to protect, nurture, provide for our little ones without losing our minds

the same




and with this thought

I feel my strength renewed

despite knowing we will see plenty of

simple things

almost

always

become

very

complicated







in this silent communion

with this mother I do not know

I feel

a sense

of

peace




and on the short drive home

I wonder

if that

sturdy metal wheelchair

will manage to keep up

with her

daughter's

GIANT

dreams



Read more: http://autismsupportnetwork.leveragesoftware.com/blog_post_view.aspx?BlogPostID=14b26462b7e74f42b6f4b9f764712d3d#ixzz0kbogK4bS

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i have learned much from your blog and i have a new appreciation of autism which effect the parents as well as the children who have it.I teach kids 8-10 year old and help them become better readers so they adjust better with their peers in their classes.I volunteer twice a week and one of my students has autism.To see that blank look of puzzlement in his eyes with that small devilish grin out of the corner of his mouth as he repeats what you have read makes you feel that your efforts are not in vain.i have always wanted to see fast results in all my endeavors but helping kids read has taught me patience.The end results have benefitted both of us.Your family's ability to extend their reach to each other deserves a special salute because without it you couldnt survive.And thats looking at it objectively from a stranger no less so its ok to give yourself a pat on the back and hear it said WELL DONE THOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVENT
Just keep it up and Keep the faith
Henry

Blah, Blah, Blah! said...

Heartfelt thanks for your very special words of encouragement, Henry! It's been a rough week and your comments have helped more than you know!
Joyce

Alice said...

What a beautiful film. I've never thought of autism beyond borders. The poem said it all though: "...the bottom line, our desire to protect, nurture, provide for our little ones without losing our minds is the same..." We all have our rocky roads raising our children, we all have our own special joys and accomplishments too. I don't know David, but I do know you did/are doing a great job raising him and being there for him, for 25 years now. Thanks for raising our awareness of autism too.