Do any of you struggle with fear? I sure do! Have all my life. And Satan is on to me. He knows exactly where to attack me. It's happening again. One week from today I have my first official "Wow! I'm getting paid for this" speaking engagement. Don't get me wrong - I love to speak. I have done it for years and I find no greater thrill than getting up in front of people and sharing my heart. That's one of the things that drew me to teaching - that, and realizing I couldn't make a living from shopping or eating chocolate. I digress.
I haven't been sleeping well, I've been sick, I've had writer's block. And now I'm afraid. I'm afraid because I keep telling myself things like, "I don't have anything great to share with those women next week". I even asked my husband if I should just call the whole thing off. Maybe the retreat could be rescheduled for...Oh, I don't know...maybe 2017?!?!
But then I started working on my outline, looking again at Psalm 23, reminding myself that the LORD is my Shepherd. One of the first sessions I have with the women will be about the meaning of the name LORD. And as I studied the character of our Shepherd, it was as if someone applied balm to my heart...I calmed right down. He restored my fearful heart once again. And as I studied, I started humming a song that I haven't heard in forever, In the Presence of Jehovah. I looked it up on You Tube, and sure enough, it was on there. I'll post it here for ya'll to see and I trust the words and the music will be a blessing.
And one more thing...I was watching an interview of Robin Roberts last night. She is a co-host on Good Morning America. She also grew up just down the Coast from us in Mississippi and did A lot to focus on the plight of our state after Hurricane Katrina. She has written a book and now it's in paperback so she's on the interview circuit. Something she said struck a chord with me...Let your mess be the message. That, in essence, is what I hope to do next Saturday. I'll share my mess and share how God was able to turn it all into something for my good and His glory. If you have a moment, I sure would appreciate your prayers. Thanks and Hugs
2 comments:
Dear sister, We all struggle with fear at times in our lives!!I think you are such a target for the devil because you openly vocalize to more people at once about how great our God is and that makes the devil afraid of you!! You might have to struggle more than us because you are so good at what you do and don't you forget it!! God gave you a special talent for speaking and I'm so glad you have this upcoming oppurtunity!! Of course I will be praying for you and hugging you in my heart!! We could not get the audio of the song, but I know and love that song too!!! much love and many hugs, NANCY
we just watched the movie facing the giants. It was really good! You should see it. I got it at Family Bookstore before we left for $5 I learned it says DO NOT FEAR in the Bible about 365 times!!!!!! wanted to share that with you!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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