Journaling and Helen

Today I ran across this book written by Helen Cepero. The name didn't ring a bell until I looked a little deeper. I was holding in my hands a book written by a fellow grad from TCC. I knew her as Helen Harmelink. In fact, Helen and I sang in choir together and even roomed together on a trip the choir made to Denver. I just started reading this book, but what I have read is excellent. Her first chapter challenge was a real encouragement to me today. This is what happened:

Bill woke up and hit the computer, feverishly looking for any new job leads. While he did that, I decided to make a call to the family that I have been working for this past year. Every morning I work with their 18 year old son and teach him classes that will aid him in obtaining his GED. There are 5 areas of testing on the GED test, and he has successfully passed two of the five. He took a break for the summer and we were to begin class this week. The only catch was, I never heard back from them. Well, I was feeling horribly desperate this morning. No job in sight for Bill coupled with the surprise that he can not apply for Unemployment Benefits because he has been working as an independent contractor shook my sense of security. That's when I decided to pick up the phone and find out when I could begin teaching again in an effort to try to earn some money to keep us afloat. To my horror, I was told that they didn't know when I could start work because my student's father's work was just terminated. I felt lower that a worm's belt buckle!

Enter, Helen's book. In the opening chapter she compares journaling to the experience of panning for gold. "Buried in the stuff of our lives, underneath the running current of daily activities, lies the treasure, if only we are willing to risk looking and seeking."

At this moment, I just don't see the gold. Things appear to be rather hopeless right now. I know God is with me. I know He has a plan. I know that He will provide for us, but quite honestly, I sort of feel like Peter when he took his eyes off of Jesus. One moment he was walking on the water, and the next moment he began to sink. I'm in sinking mode right now. But I'm NOT going to give up...I'm going to keep looking for the gold.