San Diego

Today was absolutely gorgeous...no humidity in the air, no clouds in the sky...only blue skies and fresh air! This weather put a pep in my step and a smile on my face! When I experience this kind of day, I call it a "San Diego" day. Those of you that have had the joy of spending time in San Diego will know what I'm talking about. The weather there always seems to be perfect. It's the kind of weather where the weatherman must have the most unchallenging job in the world simply because the weather is always perfect. If you don't believe me, check out their extended forecast for next week:

Thursday
Oct 29
Sunny
High 68°F
Low 54°F
Precip 0 %

Friday
Oct 30
Sunny
High 68°F
Low 55°F
Precip 0 %


Saturday
Oct 31
Sunny
High 67°F
Low 56°F
Precip 0 %

Sunday
Nov 01
Sunny
High 66°F
Low 56°F
Precip 0 %

See what I mean?

I first visited San Diego during the summer of 1975. How I got there and why I got there is my story for the day....

I had just completed my first year of teaching and in many ways, it was one of the most difficult years of my young life (I was 22 years old at the time). To understand why it was difficult, I have to go back even further...back to 1970. I am now 17 years old. I am a freshman at Trinity. I know no one and no one knows me. At the end of our freshman orientation, my RA walks into my room. She tells me one of her friends that she went to high school with had noticed me and wondered if I might want to go out. Why he didn't ask me himself, I never quite understood. Anyway, I told her I would think about it. I was dating my "high school sweetheart", and while we agreed we could and would date others, I wasn't quite ready for that to take place so soon! The next day "mystery man" introduced himself. He was 6'8", a star basketball player, and yes, I went out with him!

For the rest of the year, we were connected at the hip! We did everything together and when it was time for freshman year to end, I didn't know how my life would go on!! So melodramatic!!

During my sophomore year, at the ripe old age of 19, we were engaged to be married.

During my junior year we broke up. However...the very last day of school, he asked if I would like to have an ice cream cone. Icecream!!! He always knew my weakness!

We dated during my senior year, but it was off and on...and ended up being more off. I tried to move on and even started dating someone else. However, after graduation, mystery man seemed to be fixated on the idea that we were destined to be together. By this time, my feelings had changed quite a bit. But that did not phase Mr. Mystery. He called, he sent cards, he showed up where I worked, and kind of stalked me relentlessly. Finally, one day, he said, "Do you never want to hear from me again?" and my response was, "I think that would be a good idea."

Two weeks later I had a change of heart. I called him. His mother answered and said, "Don't you think you've done enough? Let him go. He just started dating a nice girl from church."

I remember thinking "Um...what am I??? A not "nice" girl???"

I never heard from him again. But during my first year of teaching, I heard ABOUT him all the time. I was teaching in the little Dutch enclave where his family lived. One day, when I had my class outside for PE. his little brother rode his bike up to me and said, "Hi, Joey! Did you hear my brother is getting married?" Insert knife...twist.

I couldn't seem to shake the thought of him marrying someone other than myself...I mean, contrary to what his mother thought, I was pretty "nice". Why didn't he wait for me?? How could he get married so fast???

Devastated, I did what any depressed woman would do...I drove to Trinity and talked to Dennis Hoekstra, the president of the college. He knew me. He knew mystery man. He knew how much we had loved each other. How could this be happening??? How could I go on???

His advice to me was to "get out of Dodge". Go away for the summer. Go some place I had never been before and meet new people in a new location. "Joey", he said, "my brother-in-law is in charge of church volunteer programs. I'm going to give him a call and see what we can come up with for you."

Soon, I found myself heading for San Diego, California. I was in charge of 6 high school students (from Chicago Christian High School) for the summer, and together we did volunteer work for a church in San Diego. We were in charge of youth group activities, Vacation Bible School, and getting out into the community so we could invite people to visit the church. First and foremost on my mind, however, was how I really needed to get back to Chicago as soon as possible and put an end to this wedding nonsense!!

What made it ten times worse was the fact that there was some really tall guy in this church, and I spent many a Sunday looking at this tall man and his family. His two youngest children were always squirming around him, and while he held the little boy in his lap and as his daughter laid her head on his shoulder during the church service, my mind was not focused on the sermon...my mind was focused on how that's what mystery man and I would have looked like with our "one-day" family. I spent many a Sunday with tears in my eyes!!

At the end of the summer, I returned to Chicago and continued teaching. Mystery man was living in Florida with his wife, while I was destined to be some old spinster!!!

My new friends from San Diego invited me to return the next summer. I don't remember the tall man from church, but I do remember his wife. She was very involved in the church and I got to know her better as I worked with her on VBS and sang with her in the choir. She was also the church secretary and when I returned to Chicago at the end of the summer, she made sure she had my address so that she could send me the church bulletins and keep me posted on what was going on with the families from the church that I had grown to know and love.

Years passed. The bulletins gradually stopped coming. I moved back to Michigan. By this time I was deeply entrenched in my life as a spinster. And then one day, out of no where, I receive a letter. It is postmarked from San Diego. How it ever got to me in Michigan, I never could figure out. Even my last name was spelled wrong on the envelope!!

Long story short, it was a letter from the tall man in church...the one with the four children...the one whose wife was the church secretary. He shared with me in his letter the sad news that his wife had passed away very unexpectedly. She had been in the hospital for surgery, developed blood clots that had gone to her lungs and heart and passed away. She was only 36 years old.

I felt deep sadness. I wrote back and shared my memories of his wife. And of all the things I remember of Dorothy, the thing I remembered most was her beautiful smile. Dorothy had a radiant smile!

Turns out, a few years later, I married tall man! And all four children were in the wedding!

It astounds me that God could take such a sad, troubled young woman, send her to San Diego, have her grieve over seeing this tall father in church because he reminded her so much of her old boyfriend, and know all along that someday - in His time- He would lead these two people together.

I have always loved these verses from Isaiah 61:

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor.

God gave me beauty for ashes. And every day with Bill is a "San Diego day"!

Thank you, God.